This post has been a long time coming. After ten hard weeks of training, two weeks of time off and three weeks of stress, short runs and feeling of being overwhelmed, I have decided that I will not be running the Akron Marathon this weekend. This was something that was in the back of my mind for a while, but after this past week, I knew I was making the right decision.
Last week, I didn’t get a single run in. I was working a trade show in Canada and was standing on concrete for three days straight. It wasn’t something I could avoid, but by the end of the third day, my foot was cramping up and was still sore until Saturday. Between the lingering pain, and the lack of long runs, I knew I wouldn’t be able to give it my all this coming Saturday. I’ve run races that I shouldn’t have while battling the same pain in high school. I knew how the road would end up if I didn’t back off and I’d rather back out of one race, than have to take months off of running.
This decision didn’t come easy though, and I’m still not 100% sure I’m making the right choice. I had such a strong start to this training cycle, I felt like I could crush my time from last year. But after I injured my foot, I just couldn’t get back to where I needed to be, physically and mentally. I respect the distance enough that if I’m going to run 26.2 miles, I want to know that I can handle it. I don’t want to run it, just to say I did it, and struggle 75% of the way.
Mentally, I’m all over the board with this decision. I’ve got a lot going on outside of running right now, and I can’t give it my all. But I feel like I’m letting myself down by not showing up Saturday morning. Deep inside, I wouldn’t be able to handle another bad race this year and ultimately knowing that I’d have a good chance of dropping out.
There are so many emotions swirling in my head at this time, but I have to remember it’s only a race. There will be others and there will always be next year. I still plan on picking up my packet on Friday, but will keep everything as a reminder that maybe 2013 isn’t my year. Someday I will tow the blue line for 26.2 miles around Akron, and it will be everything I had wanted.